How Motherhood Has Changed My Outlook on Blogging
I said I’d see you in September and alluded to/hoped I’d be back to blogging full-time but things have changed…
When I started blogging almost three years ago, I was posting 5-7 times a week. I know, I can’t believe it either. With an infant! And I was freelance producing a TV show. I wasn’t a single, jobless girl. I didn’t have a team or a trust fund. Just little old me in a tiny, dark New York apartment with a baby. I was anxious to get as much up on here as possible, to give people a reason to keep coming back. I had so much to say, share. Once I realized this is what I wanted to do, it felt like I’d missed years of opportunity. Everyone always asked me how I found time to do it. I made time (evening, weekends, nap time) because I was so passionate about it.
But I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times when that passion waned. Working for yourself is a challenge in and of itself. When no one is holding you accountable (Unless, of course, I’m on deadline for an editor or brand), when it sometimes appears as if no one even cares, when you don’t get a lot of traffic, likes or new followers that week, it messes with your mind, tests your devotion, stamina and career path. After my miscarriage and throughout my next pregnancy, I struggled the most. Beyond the miscarriage pieces, which sincerely made me feel like I am in the right lane in life, using my writing as catharsis, owning up to my issues, helping others… I’ve never felt more empowered or purposeful.
Leaving New York and my uninspiring apartment woke me up again. I suppose, as a lifestyle blogger, if your lifestyle is eating copious amount of carbs, sitting on your couch and just waiting for a baby to come, there’s not a tremendous amount to write about. The truth is, it didn’t just reinvigorate my blog (with decor posts), it did the same for my life. You don’t release how much of a rut you’re stuck in until you’re out of it. The irony is, I was living in the best city in the world, IMO, filled with tons of activities and inspiration but I wasn’t taking advantage of it.
I know people wondered, because they told me, how mom of two would affect my work flow. I did too. And the answer is, now that Oliver’s here, I’ve definitely slowed down. Both by design and by choice. I don’t have as much free time and the time I do have, I choose to focus on my family. With Lilly, I was so anxious about my career. Would I ever work again? What it all meant, how it looked. I fought the SAHM/WFHM thing hard. Now, I’m much more chill about it all. I’m not sure whether it’s maturity, perspective or a successful blogging and consulting career. I supposed it’s a bit of all of them. Granted, it’s only been three months. If I had a full-time, office job, I’d just being going back now. I did more of a modified maternity leave, still posting some life and family updates and accepting, shooting and scheduling some sponsored posts.
And, I have to say, I really like the pace. Now that I’m not as anxious, more established, I realize these things take time and I’m okay with that, 2-3 blog posts per week seems not only attainable, it allows me to be the kind of mom I want to be. And, really, the kind of person I want to be too. Far less stressed, much more present and provides breathing room for more creativity and other projects. I’ve started consulting for other companies, which I really love, helping people achieve their dreams, getting to brainstorm and collaborate, challenge myself (the paycheck doesn’t hurt either!) is all so thrilling for me. And giving myself the gift to only post when I’m inspired instead of having to do it daily, is so refreshing. It’s reinvigorated me and I’m so excited for what’s to come! Stay tuned…
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